WHACKLAND: IT Came From Out Proctor.

Difficult for me to get serious lately. It's sort of a paradox. My change of venue to WVA and the "loss" of my research materials [as far as availability goes] has not made the use of them urgent, but rather lacking in energy and intent. That change officially arrives with a plane flight Saturday, so this blog will have a change as well, then. I hope to maintain some frequency of entries, but the heavy-duty essays and historical syntheses will probably not be possible. Still, we'll see. Today, I'm in retreat to Out Proctor and Believe-it-or-not. Maybe you'll find it fun; maybe not. To keep yourself amused, you might ask yourself which of these alleged events seem likely to have really happened. Then you can ask yourself which of them do you think have anything to do with UFOlogy. They ALL ended up in somebody's UFO files.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Globs. Their "name" almost tells you that you're not going to really understand them. But there they seem, occasionally, to be, doing their globby business. A). 1955: Baltimore, MD--"a fuming spherical mass drifted over Baltimore and landed in the city". Thus began a note to Wright-Patterson AFB and Project Blue Book. Many people congregated about it including the police. People tried to puncture it, but it healed up. One guy tried to squash it with a tire, but couldn't damage it. Police cordoned off the area, and after several hours, the thing degenerated and left behind a yellowish residue. Analyzed at the morgue, the residue contained Metallic oxides and animal tissue. Blue Book was told that the answer was "a detergent bubble filled with exhaust gasses from a diesel locomotive in a railway yard." !! [this is one of the goofiest "explanations" in my files of an "answer" not meeting the reported characteristics of the event]. But, there you are.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B). 1950: Philadelphia, PA--Four policemen saw an "airborne object" which sailed above the city before landing in an urban field. The thing was six feet in diameter and glowed purplish and misty. One of the policemen tried to pick it up, but some of it adhered to his hands, dissipated, and left a sticky residue. The officers watched for 30 minutes while the blob slowly disappeared. Lest one believe that the story was just made up, the policemen reported the event to the FBI and the relevant document still exists. At least no one tried to explain this one as containing train engine exhausts.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------C). 1979: Frisco, TX--A lady woke up one morning and walked outside. There on her lawn were three purple blobs. They were small, about breadloaf sized. As she watched, one of them "just faded away". The other two persisted. They "looked like smooth whipped cream, purple... I stuck this stick into the object. It went in easily, very easily. I punctured it. On the inside it was the same thing--just like real whipped cream, and it looked like it was melting". When the police arrived, an officer tried to pick one up. He said that it was "pretty warm". He put the blobs into boxes and they were sent to a the local Natural Science Museum. The curator said that the blobs were emitting an acidic liquid and contained uranium [!!] and a strange pattern of specks of lead. These weirdos were then sent on to NASA in Dallas and placed in freezers to preserve them. The NASA spokesperson said: "It's kind of like plum-pudding. It has round solid chunks in it that remain after the goo goes away. We don't know what it is." Uhhhhhh...what?! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------D). 1966: near Ellicotteville, NY--The NICAP subcommittee field investigators said at the beginning of their report: "[This] is a report, which for the first time we have encountered, dealing with something seemingly more fantastic and even more out of science fiction". Uh Oh. [the case refers to my drawing that accompanies this section]. Two buddies were riding motorcycles along route 219 in NY. One several yards ahead of the other. The lead cyclist saw an object coming on an intersecting course from the right about 10 feet off the ground. He judged that it would pass between the two of them. The thing was a watermelon-sized oval glob, dull green in color. Turning he watched the thing pass just in front of his friend, swerve into him, and attach itself to him !! Wrapping itself around his lower leg, the friend tried to kick the thing off, losing his shoe in the process. The glob became more interested in the shoe, and left to go after it. It seemed to briefly inspect the shoe from above it, rise in the air, and fly away over the hillside. The close-up description was: smooth surfaced and jelly-like in "feel". Translucent dull green. Oval in shape while in the air, but flexible in contact. May have made a soft whirring [dare I suggest "purring" ?] sound. Produced a large red mark on the person's leg with a white oval center, 4 to 6 inches in size. Around this were 5 or 6 [how can they not have a single count?] puncture marks. {maybe I should give them a break on that if the marks were really small and hard to see}. The victim of the "Attack Glob From Magonia" never became ill, and the red/white area went away in a day, leaving only the pin-pricks. Yep. Just another day in the life.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E). 1968: Swansea, UK--BUFORA field investigators reported that one fine day a gentleman decided to go outside for a breath of fresh air. Something had other plans. He saw what appeared to be a patch of fog coming toward him. It was a little fluffy, white thing about two feet by one foot and gliding only two feet from the ground. What a nice little curiosity. For three minutes the cloud came slowly on. Now directly upon him, it touched his leftside. A stabbing pain racked the left side of his abdomen, and the cloud vanished. He staggered back into his house, the pain like a knife going into him. It lasted for several minutes. After it subsided, his stomach felt like ice and he would not eat. Only after getting medicine from his physician [what do you prescribe for a Magonian attack?] did he return to normal--well, physically anyway.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------F). 1887: North Atlantic, east of the Canadian Maritimes--The Dutch Bark "J.P.A." was confronted with an inexplicable phenomenon one day in March at 5PM. In the air, heading their way, were two "balls". One was black. The other was illuminated. The illuminated object was oval or cigar-shaped. As it came overhead, the environment became pitch black above the ship, but the deck itself [and the sea immediately around] was brightly illuminated as if in a sea of fire. With a roar, this "ball" fell into the water, creating splashes that swept high enough to throw water onto the deck. Worse, the air was suddenly foul, and hands began suffocating and breaking out in perspiration. Then [logically] ice chunks rained down on the deck and even the rigging became iced over. The thermometer registered 19-degrees C. nevertheless [i.e. the ambient temperature was way too warm to allow this]. The barometer was going nuts. Shortly hurricane force winds seemed to [temporarily] arise. Of course the explanation for all this is obvious--they were close to the Bermuda Triangle, yet didn't have the sense to abandon ship and become another Mary Celeste. Yep. That about explains that.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------G). 1958: in the Mediterranean off southern France--Three guys were out to begin night fishing. [this is the tale that goes with the above picture]. It was clear and the sea was calm. They saw an orange-colored light in the sky coming towards them. It seemed to be rotating as it came. It came and just rested lightly on the surface nearby, whipping up the water and causing a strong air displacement. It began to roll towards their boat. Fortunately the globe didn't roll right over them, but passed close-by. The waves it created nearly caused them to capsize. They felt a powerful heat from the thing and heard a faint humming [a bit like insects]. Its diameter was four meters. It continued to roll on, leaping forwards in the waves and skimming them. It made a right-angle turn, and whisked away to the horizon [show-off]. Once again, it was the Big One That Got Away. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
H). 1974: Springfield, OH--near the end of a localized UFO flap in southwestern Ohio, a nightshift employee was leaving work at 3AM. His car, running normally, now began to fail. Engine and lights were now dead. Ahead of him was a display of aerial lights colored like a rainbow. the rainbow went out, replaced by an oval object of brilliant illumination and six feet in diameter. The object approached to within six feet of the car. Inside it was a golden room with five occupants. They sat motionless stiffly in a row. They were three or four feet tall, with long hair, covering their faces. They wore capes. After fifteen minutes, the golden-roomed oval shot up at a sharp angle and disappeared. His car started immediately. This is the case as written for publication by Len Stringfield. Ted Bloecher read the report at CUFOS and added that their robes were brightly colored and they had brown hair which reached all the way to the floor. On the other hand, Ted drops the reference that the original object[s] was like a rainbow in color. [one wonders what subtle little things cause us to put something in and not something else? ] Either way, I could easily be convinced that this was as much like a "little people" encounter in their rainbow sky chariot with their golden room and their ridiculously long hair, as any ET incident. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I). 1975: Catskill Mts, NY--Two guys decide to get their stresses off their backs for a while with a little heavy beer drinking at a camping ground in the Catskills [this was a "regular" affair for them--nothing like the great outdoors and a six-pack]. They were awakened by a bright light that illuminated even the inside of the tent. Going out to investigate, everything went pitch black. [not THAT again!] Soon they saw a dull glowing object up on the hillside [no roads up there]. Then, what we all love, ghostly-phosphorescent shining entities floating down the hill towards them. A siege mentality arose, with the heroes panicking and lighting fires in the nearby covered picnic area, and generally going nuts. The "ghosts" would come nearer, then retreat for a while. [the picture for this is my drawing above]. During a more "away" period, one guy ran for the car. [he was going to get something to defend themselves]. Ultimately, they decided that all that was foolish [how do you fight ghosts?] and both of them made it to the car and drove home as fast as the bad conditions allowed. This case was used by a researcher as an example of a "missing time" abduction. I have read the transcriptions of the case notes and find NO evidence of any missing time at all. In fact there is nothing about the case that says, necessarily, "UFO". We make a lot of mistakes in my opinion cramming things into ready-made hypotheses, and it gets us into all manner of trouble [in the field and out]. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
J). 1968: Grant Town, WV--well, this should make it easy for you---if this one is real, anything probably is. "Allegedly" a young coal miner in my old home state was out bow hunting for deer--so far this is eminently believable. An unusual noise came down from above. He saw nothing. OK, we'll go with that. A high-pitched jabber changed to English and said: "You need not fear me! I want to communicate! I come as friends! I come in peace! [I can see the images from MARS Attacks! forming] We know of you all! [well, he knew enough to say 'you-all' to a West Virginian] I wish medical information! [OK. that does it] I need your help! [what Lunch?]" At that moment our hero was "puzzled" [yep, me too]. He felt something grab his wrist. He seemed paralyzed. The thing was a seven foot tall, yellow-eyed extraterrestrial asparagus with pointed ears [actually this happens a lot in West Virginia]. Suddenly the asparagus' eyes changed from yellow to red and began to rotate. Spinning orange light circles emerged from the eyes and moved towards him. He felt no pain. [hmmm]. Shortly [ you know it's hard to say shortly for a thing seven feet tall] he was released and the ET-asparagus bounded away. A humming noise came from the woods and a bright silvery object rose and shot off. The young man did the only logical thing: he joined the Air Force. Four months after his discharge, Men-in-Black entered his room at night, gave him a shot and forced him to tell them about his UFO experiences. Both Asparagusses and MIBs wanted information from this man. Wow!. Hopefully you don't need much more information to evaluate this case [some would say it's obviously a screen memory for something] , but if you do, the case "investigator" on this was Gray Barker. That should relax you; I know it does me.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know, I think that both of these gals know exactly what they're talking about. Wish I did.