To the readers: today is "the worst of times". A call this morning told me that my mother was going to the hospital, and 93-years and poor heart and all, would have to have bowel surgery. 500 miles away, and completely helpless to do anything for the person who has always been the Heart of my life, the animal, which is half of me, cries. Perhaps that, at least, is well. I haven't done nearly enough crying in my life. But, in the scheme of things, this blog seems pretty irrelevant right now. The animal and the inner soul are both pretty disturbed. In a completely unexpected way, this is also "the best of times". [my soul said that; my animal still thinks that it's crazy]. Five of my siblings have been calling back and forth to one another and to me, and are gathering to be with mother to help make her feel a little better about this scary moment for us all. There's a lot of love being manifested out there--I pray that it, at least makes her feel less frightened. The operation may be taking place even as I write this--I can't make it 500 miles in time. They'll have to do it without me--they can. If this is the last day for mother's spirit on this Earth, then GOD will take care of her, and her mother and father and my dad will be waiting for her at the gate. I believe that. She believes that. My life will go on, [and so will this blog, but not today]. St. Francis was asked what he would do if he knew that the Lord was coming in an hour. As he was gardening at the time, he said "Garden". I'm not as good as Francis. I'm skipping "gardening" my blog for a day or two. I'll do the other thing I do on Saturday evening...go to mass. My soul needs a little upstairs love right now, too. If you want to pray for mother, pray that she is not scared and feels completely loved. Nothing else really matters anyway.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
The Best of Times-The Worst of Times
To the readers: today is "the worst of times". A call this morning told me that my mother was going to the hospital, and 93-years and poor heart and all, would have to have bowel surgery. 500 miles away, and completely helpless to do anything for the person who has always been the Heart of my life, the animal, which is half of me, cries. Perhaps that, at least, is well. I haven't done nearly enough crying in my life. But, in the scheme of things, this blog seems pretty irrelevant right now. The animal and the inner soul are both pretty disturbed. In a completely unexpected way, this is also "the best of times". [my soul said that; my animal still thinks that it's crazy]. Five of my siblings have been calling back and forth to one another and to me, and are gathering to be with mother to help make her feel a little better about this scary moment for us all. There's a lot of love being manifested out there--I pray that it, at least makes her feel less frightened. The operation may be taking place even as I write this--I can't make it 500 miles in time. They'll have to do it without me--they can. If this is the last day for mother's spirit on this Earth, then GOD will take care of her, and her mother and father and my dad will be waiting for her at the gate. I believe that. She believes that. My life will go on, [and so will this blog, but not today]. St. Francis was asked what he would do if he knew that the Lord was coming in an hour. As he was gardening at the time, he said "Garden". I'm not as good as Francis. I'm skipping "gardening" my blog for a day or two. I'll do the other thing I do on Saturday evening...go to mass. My soul needs a little upstairs love right now, too. If you want to pray for mother, pray that she is not scared and feels completely loved. Nothing else really matters anyway.
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My thoughts are with you and yours Professor. And I -will- pray that she is not afraid and for her return to good health.
ReplyDeleteReading your thoughts above, I strongly suspect she already knows she is completely loved.
~J
I wish you much strength in these hours and days, and my thoughts are of course with you, Professor.
ReplyDeleteDear Professor,
ReplyDeleteI wish you and your mother the best in this situation.
Dr Swords
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult to know, what to write/ say when situations like these arise, however my thoughts and prayers are with you and your mother at this time. Take care.
Lee Dines.
Mike,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is with you and your family in this unhappy time.
This fall, three family members died over a six-week period, so we're feeling battered ourselves. There is nothing to say in these situations -- words are never up to this part of the life experience -- except to assure you that, for what it is worth, you and the Swords family are in our thoughts and prayers.
We will pray and hope for a successful surgery and a speedy recovery! Brightest blessings to your mother and your family.
ReplyDeleteThank you all, writers and those who simply care. Mother has gotten through the operation. She is in intensive care but, with IVs to get her food and time to heal and be watched closely, maybe she'll be back to some degree of health after this siege is over. Things are not perfectly relaxed as yet by a long shot, but my siblings say that it is not time for me to get on a plane and be back there. Our family has much yet to do and think through to give her the best of life we can in whatever time she has ahead--in ways, she is very strong, and her mind still is good, so who can say? Probably there is a "move" ahead. If so, "eldest son" will have a role requiring supportive presence. But for now, I must pretend that things are "normal" and that my astoundingly talented family will guide the next steps. So...back to some "work" and, even this blog. Weirdly, what I was looking at was Black Dogs, which "my girl" [Catherine Crowe] believes often portend deaths in a family. I don't agree with her [for a change] and wasn't agreeing [even on the basis of her own examples] before I heard about mother. But that will probably be the subject of the next post.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to hear that your mother had a successful surgery and I wish her a speedy recovery. Don't forget to take care of yourself Professor! Peace.
ReplyDeleteI am happy to hear the good news of your mother. God Bless your mother and your family, Mike. I will pray that God gives all of you clarity in his purpose and his love for all of you.
ReplyDelete