It's a bit of a coincidence, but just as the Sandersonian Fafrotsky [Oddball RPGreg Meteorites] series was wrapping up, along came two reports of weirdness out of the skies of England [which I feel is the Universe's Focal Point for dropping bizarre "rains", anyway]. That "inspires" me to say something about this stuff that doubtless others have said persuasively before, but I haven't read much about it. This "brilliant insight" is that as far as I can tell, we are completely BS-ing about Fafrotskies when we talk about how they occur with the possible exceptions of icefalls, "dirty" rains, and odd meteoric stones. In almost every other type of Fortean Fall I come away from the "how did this happen?" remarks utterly unconvinced.
The bottom three photos are of the "jellylike" [broken] blue spheres which rained down during a hailstorm in Dorset in January. In both instances, the offending spheroids rained into people's gardens where they were picked up immediately after.
So what's my beef? In the Leicester case the old explanation that the spheres were picked up by high winds, probably a vortex of some kind, and carried along some distance until dropped, was dusted off. Yep, said everyone, that sounds pretty good to me. It never has to me.
In the Dorset case, the explanation was that this was some well-known floral display product called sodium polyacrylate crystals and that these had just swollen with the rain/hail/snow. Nevermind that the owner of the place knew of no such crystals, nor how someone else would have gone into the garden to put them there for reasons unknown. Oh, maybe a vortex came and scooped them up from somewhere.
And this gets to the core of my beef. These "explanations" are never any explanation at all --- and you can go right back across the decades hearing the same kind of "I don't want to think about this too much" crap.
This, or something quite like it, is supposedly our villain. Good old "dust devils". Little atmospheric vortices which might pop up anywhere anytime and pick up things to fly away to uncharted territories and surprised gardeners. I have a scientific question which is almost irrelevant but would be nice to know: what amount of stuff can these little vortices even manage? [if we're talking big vortices of the tornado type, I'd think that the weathermen near the gardeners would have noticed]. Someone should have a graph somewhere detailing what sort of lifting force such things have and what sort of "efforts" are really outside the reasonable parameters for weight [I'm thinking of massive ice or loads of fish].
But as I say, that piece of data is nearly irrelevant anyway to what's happening here.
I'll admit that atmospheric vortices are probably forming sneakily and far more often than we experience them. And I'll even give the quick-shutdown thinkers the Blue Spheres case above that it could have been someone, for no understandable reason, throwing flower display crystals over some fellow's hedge in winter --- weird but just possible. But I'm drawing the line on the yellow spheres and several hundred other falls of like nature.
And it's a simple why... Those yellow spheres were all the same thing. When some of the water animal falls [fish; frogs; et al] occurred, they were all the same thing. When tropical insects "rained" down in the Alps, they were not tropical insects and plants and dirt and stones and ..., they were all the same thing.
To get me to buy into the atmospheric vortex picked these objects up, you must explain to me:
1). how did the vortex find just a pile of just this category of thing to pick up, or
2). if it picked up a whole mess of mixed things, how did it "sort them out" while cruising over to the local gardener?
Think about that for a moment....
NOTHING does such a seeking or a sorting of macroscopic objects except something intelligent at, at least, a fairly high intelligence level [bowerbirds are about the lowest level of intelligence in the bio-kingdom which do a decent job of macroscopic sorting].
Saying that the explanation is #1 and it happened by accident that the vortex found a "pure source" of something REALLY stretches my hypothesis-building. Those vortices have been finding a stunning amount of pure sources of just-one-thing for a long time. How lucky are they?
And the vortex in its simple unintelligent way doing the physical equivalent of "I dropped into the Toys-R-Us dumpster, picked up all the mixed toys, and gradually sorted them out in flight from London to Leicester till I had purely yellow spheres to drop on that poor pelted couple", is just Out Proctor so far that it's beyond even that reality.
What Goes Here? Ridiculous I may well be, but it feels like The Trickster. Not the dirty rains ... not the big piece of ice [necessarily] ... not the weird stone [necessarily]. But sorted things, yes. I'm not going to the National Academy of Sciences with this, but I am going Out Proctor with it. If such sorted falls occur at all [and Fort and others say "yes" in quantity], then dummo unintelligence cannot do this. If not simple physics, then WHO's left?